Case studies

Examples of terrible bosses

Shola Kaye, culture change DEI speaker and Rhiannon Bates, director of agency Garnet PR and business mentor, describe the traits of bad bosses they have experienced first hand and offer advice for dealing with a boss who does not support you.

Shola Kaye: “Most of us have at some time or another experienced bosses who are demanding or micromanaging. But, how about the boss who's difficult because they never give you any feedback? This can be a real challenge for people from underrepresented groups. Managers can feel uncomfortable around you, or experience reluctance to give you ongoing feedback to help you improve because they're afraid of how you'll take it. They might think you'll get angry or accuse them of bias. Therefore, they don't take you aside on a regular basis to offer nurturing tips and tricks to help you improve. Instead, these kinds of bosses tend to wait until the once or twice a year performance review. During these big 'crunch' moments, they'll deal you the blow that you weren't good enough or don't deserve that promotion, or raise. This is often shocking news to the recipient because they had no clue that their boss wasn't happy. It can be pretty demotivating, discouraging and even prompt people to want to leave the organisation or move to a different department.

“I experienced bosses like this a couple of times early in my career. The first time was a shock. The second time was too much - I was let go at the end of my six-month review, even though my boss gave me no warning of how he felt. As I walked away from that company, I vowed I'd never work for another organisation like that again.. and decided to change career and work for myself from that moment on.

“Should you have an inkling early on that your boss isn't giving you enough helpful feedback, take a friendly approach and tell them you respect and admire them, want to do a great job and would love regular feedback, whether good or bad. Let them know you welcome their opinion and if they're reluctant to give feedback, ask them - whether by email or in person - specific questions that allow them to open up about aspects of your performance. If you're still not getting much joy, consider trying to build a stronger relationship with your boss's boss, or other managers at the organisation who might be able to help.”

Rhiannon Bates: “I experienced a string of difficult bosses in one particular role in my early-mid 20s, which over time had a drastic impact on my mental health. I struggled to understand why their bullying, passive-aggressive behaviour and unreasonable demands were acceptable, it gave me terrible anxiety and imposter syndrome, eventually I had to seek counselling and therapy. Now, with hindsight and more experience, I know the behaviour was not acceptable. 

“My advice is to understand your boundaries and limits, and to learn to differentiate between pressure from a role and stress caused by poor people or bad behaviour. If your boss is behaving unacceptably, keep a log so you can share with HR if needed, if nothing is done it may be time to walk away. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I disagree; mental torment, workplace bullying and the risk of burnout isn't worth sticking it out for sometimes. 

“In my role as a business mentor, I have a lot of women, in particular, coming to me setting up or growing their own businesses, and I'd say 75% of them have experienced a bad boss or workplace culture which eventually drove them to leave. However, there are lots of great bosses out there - get clear on your values, understand that sometimes situations will arise that are challenging, but that you should never feel continuously bullied. It's important to recognise the signs, and if an honest conversation doesn't change things, put yourself and your own wellbeing first.”