My idea of fun is to be away from the office, with my family. As lovely as my colleagues are (and they are all far lovelier than me), I get to see more than enough of them. Whereas I don’t get to see enough of my long-suffering family. And some me-time would be good too. Although I am surprised at my wife’s enthusiasm when I suggest that I go off for a day on my own. She never gets that excited when I suggest that the two of us get away together...

If my boss wants to give me a treat, all I want is a day off. And a pay rise would be nice. But sadly, the benign dictator, as I call her on a good day, likes to “reward” our hard work and new business wins with special days out.

Here are some rewards, that have felt more like punishments:

1. A day sailing around the Isle of Wight. For boating enthusiasts this is heaven. But I get get seasick very easily and have a fear of drowning. So for me, a day on the solent is less of a treat, more torture.

2. Segway racing. Now really, how did the words “Segway” and “race” ever get put together? Stupid idea.

3. Summer party at the boss’s country pad. Her house is far too elegant for my kids, for a start all her sofas are white! It’s stressful trying to stop my monsters from vandalising her beautiful home, I have to frisk them for felt-tip pens before they step over the threshold. And my canapé eating skills are just not good enough for that red wine and cream carpet combination.

4. An evening at a show. I can’t stand musicals. The story lines are always desperately dull. And I just find it irritatiing when people keep bursting into song in mid-conversation.

5. A spa day. I don’t want to spend time with my colleagues unless we all have all our clothes on. Call me old-fashioned.