I took our latest recruit to a client briefing yesterday, and found out he has a talent for putting his foot in his mouth. And that’s before I have trained him in this art!

He managed to get our client spluttering into her coffee as he described how much he liked her latest Facebook upload, which happened to be a photo of her and her friends sunbathing on holiday. It may have been unwise to post such a revealing picture, but his remark was even more revealing.

First, because he isn‘t a Facebook friend of hers, so it suggested I had shown him the picture. And second, because it made him look like he‘d been studying pictures of her without all her clothes on. It was a hand on forehead moment.

After the meeting I explained to our fledgling account handler that there are certain things it’s good NOT to say to clients. Here are a few other things I must tell him not to say before he gets me into more trouble:

1. Don’t worry about prompt payment, we are happy to give you extended credit terms.

2. I really laughed when I read your interview in the paper. I assume the journalist made up those comments?

3. Other people have given me the wrong impression about you. You’re far nicer than I expected.

4. That’s a brave choice of outfit.

5. Is that a real Rolex?

6. For the amount you pay us, you can’t expect top-quality coverage.

7. Of course the broadsheets will want to write a news story about your latest award/achievement.

8. Just because you and your company are boring doesn’t mean your PR has to be.

9. Don’t worry about the results of the campaign, we are confident it will win an award for creativity.