A journalist has just slammed the phone down on me. I would like to go and punch his lights out, but such behaviour is not very PR, so I have to swallow my pride and carry on.

But of course I shout out “C**t!” first, so that all my colleagues can appreciate the type of bastards I have to deal with sometimes.

Here are a few other tactics for coping when people in this business fail to see your genius.

You lose a pitch. There is only one way forward here. To the pub.

A journalist refuses to go with your idea. Don’t call them a “c**t” until after you have put the phone down. And then slag them off to your colleagues. For longer term satisfaction, make sure you place your next brilliant idea with a rival publication.

You get fired. It may be tempting to go straight to a bar after losing your job, but it is far better to do something to help rebuild your ego first. Rewrite your CV straight away, to remind yourself of how great you are and your successes before this knock back.

You make a pass at a colleague and it is rebuffed. What the hell are you doing? This is not acceptable behaviour. You should only make advances at a colleague if it is a sure thing and they have made it clear your advances are welcome.

Your campaign idea is laughed out of the room. You need good acting skills to cope with this. Join in the laughter too, pretend that was the reaction you were hoping for.

Your press release is torn apart. At first you might think your client is crazy not to see how fantastic your prose is. If your client is not usually mad though, perhaps the fault lies with you. Suck it up and rewrite. Rewriting nearly always results in a better press release anyway.