We do the work. Our boss gets paid for it. The founding partner only swans into the office when it happens to be on the way to a lunch date. Although he seems to be getting almost bored of going to The Ivy now. Poor thing.

Here’s eight things we hate about you boss. And no, we are not being ageist, we just think you‘re a lazy git:

1. Having a Porsche doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a tosser.

2. Your years of experience may make you feel superior, but we’re completely fed up with hearing about them. You keep repeating yourself. “YOU KEEP REPEATING YOURSELF!”

3. Funny how no journalist wants to meet up with you. Do they tell you it’s because they’re so busy these days? They’re lying. They just don’t like you.

4. Please get that stain removed from that “creative“ tie you like to wear. It’s been there rather a long time now.

5. We know you don’t work at home, so don’t pretend you do.  Answering the occasional email on your BlackBerry doesn’t count as a full day’s work.

6. Going out for a “meeting” and then returning with lots of full shopping bags is a bit of a giveaway.

7. No, we’re not free to nip out and get you another f***ing coffee right now.

8. Years of slog in your distant past, don’t justify you paying yourselves triple our salary, while we do three times the amount of work. One day you might just find that we have walked out of the company, and taken all the business with us.