Why do agencies think they are much smarter, more creative and more dynamic than their clients?

The business I work for meets a public demand, and meets it well. We are delighted to admit that we are not generally perceived by the public to be the most exciting organisation. 

This does not mean we are dull.

If another agency implies this to me again, I'll be going both barrels. 

Here are some ways agencies wind me up:

They come up with crazy ideas

A “creative” treatment that has nothing to do with what we stand for may get noticed, but it won’t add to our reputation. Or improve our sales.

They are patronising

Yes, I have heard of SEO. I do know about Google (and far too much than I want to about Google+), and guess what? I use Twitter! I am not living in a cave. I may not be a social marketing geek, but I am not a cretin.

They have whacky offices

I am not impressed by fake-fur covered walls, art installations and themed meeting rooms. I want an agency that delivers results. Please don’t drag me to see your “creative” space and if you have to take me out for lunch take me somewhere that does decent food. But please, nothing too extravagant. I am aware who is paying for it at the end of the day.

They aren’t always good on detail

I am paying for a service, I expect the I’s to be dotted and the T’s to be crossed. Please don’t present copy with spelling mistakes.

They expect me to be available for press interviews at inconvenient times

Yes, I appreciate the chance to be interviewed by a decent publication, but I have work to do, and unfortunately I am sometimes on a plane when a journalist is available. I can’t change a work trip just to get a few lines in a minor B2B magazine.

They only pretend to consider our ideas

Agencies are not the only places that can generate interesting concepts, there is no shame in using our ideas too – it is not a failure on an agency’s part to run with a client idea, it is called teamwork.