I know plenty of PR people who spend a lot of their time kissing someone else's arse. I was mentally making a list of these people the other day, when it dawned on me that they all drive a nicer car than me!

So rather than fight it, here are my top tips to help you kiss the arse of those with the power:

1. Laugh at their rubbish jokes. Clearly this makes people feel good - but be careful, don't overdo it. I have one mate whose incessant roars of laughter regularly arouse suspicion.

2. Compliment, praise and flatter. It is amazing how susceptible people are to a bit of ego-stroking, As long as you look sincere when you say how “brilliant” they are, they won’t suspect that you aren’t being genuine. After all, you are only backing up their own opinion of themselves.

3. Hang on their every word. Don’t interrupt, unless it’s to applaud of course.

4. Copy the way they dress. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but if you take it too far by wearing exactly the same outfit, this will scare them. Just dress in a similar way.

5. Speak the same language. People have a tendency to use certain words and expressions, so notice what these are and use them too. But if the object of your fawning loves swearing, then be careful. Often people use swear words to dominate people and they might not take kindly to you effing and blinding back.

6. Treat them. This is particularly effective with journalists, as they don’t have much dollar, so any food or drink is usually appreciated.

7. Do them a favour. Be a little cautious with this one as there are limits as to how much you can do for someone before they begin to feel uncomfortable. Although in my boss’s case, it seems that you can never do too much.