Two things have annoyed me this week – people trying to make work fun and brainstorming. I bloody hate it when the obnoxious little upstart fresh out of Uni tries to persuade the boss to try and have some fun in the office.

 If work was fun, it wouldn’t be called work. That’s what the weekend is for. When the boss decides to “spice things up a bit” or “get some spark in this office” – my heart sinks.

Some craaazy, wacky ideas were thrown about. Maybe we should – change seats. Or redecorate the offices. Some seat-of-the-pants fool even has the idea to paint the wall with blackboard paint so we can scribble down ideas. Someone punch me. Or perhaps I should be careful what I wish for.

And then someone utters those awful words – “team-building exercise.” Raft building? Mountaineering? I just about scrape through the day with these people, please don’t make me spend the night with them too!

Some other do-gooder suggests we should organise a pop-up party for all our contacts. Great idea. I’m sure all our punters will really appreciate a few beers in some derelict multi-storey now the nights are drawing in.

Predictably, of course, the FD points out the costs involved, and the wild ideas get put on the back burner. But the fun doesn’t stop there. As soon as the next client brief comes in, the boss decides it’s time to get “creative“. I am all for coming up with good ideas. What I hate are the stupid ways that agencies go about having them. My best ideas have always come to me when I am not trying too hard, not when I am sitting in a stifling boardroom with a flip chart in front of me.

How not to come up with good ideas

So if you want to come up with a good idea, I suggest you avoid the following:

Brain storming? Give me a rest, it’s more like brain numbing.

A change of scene. I am happy to pop out for a coffee, or even better a pint, but a trip to the Saatchi Gallery? Please.

Playing “fun” office games. Makes me want to run out of the building screaming.
Dance/music/acting workshops. I know there are many dancers, musicians and actors out there desperate for work, and I feel sorry for them. But not sorry enough to pay them to waste my time. That is what busking is for.

There is no miracle way to get dull people to come up with good ideas. If you want creativity in the office, you need creative people. And they will be inhibited by tactics such as those above, not inspired by them.