Clients. Rule number one is put them first, it’s just a shame they always put us last. One of my clients is a multinational, it is doing OK, it makes tens of millions of pounds every year. But does it pay us on time? Nope, we don’t even bother chasing until 60 days.

Excuses range from “We are changing our payment system” to “We wish to question the wording of a press release you sent two months ago …”

I really shouldn’t start moaning about clients though. Not just because it is unprofessional, but because I am afraid that if I start, I may never stop! I will keep a lid on it, and just highlight a few client moments that have nearly pushed me, and my colleagues, over the edge. And yes, these are true stories:

Top five annoyances:

1. A client asked us to arrange for Tony Blair to attend his webinar. Seriously, I’m not joking. Teflon Tony was, funnily enough, too busy.
2. We arranged a journalist to call a client to discuss a new initiative at a time the client had suggested. When the journo called, he was surprised to be told by the client that he was sick and tired of interfering journalists bothering him all the time. The client then decided to rant about why he thought all journalists are scum.
3. We were asked to ensure that the Financial Times wrote a story about our client, because it has just won an industry award. Hmmm …
4. Talking of awards, when another client went up to collect an award recently (for effective communication), he decided to give an unprompted, unwanted and very drunken speech. Not such an effective communicator after all.
5. After a client behaved rather inappropriately with a journalist at a business briefing, he asked us to arrange a one-to-one with the same journalist the next week. She wasn’t quite so keen.