How long does it take to eradicate 20 years’ UK PR knowledge? Two weeks. Two short weeks in a much sunnier part of Europe.

I just can’t be arsed to do any work. I am still in holiday mode, and that means I should still be in bed or doing something interesting, not sitting at my desk, warming my hands with this morning's piece of decadence – a latte!

I mean, really, what's the point? This morning, first I had the alarm clock, then I had to negotiate rush hour and now I'm sitting at my desk with 723 unread emails to wade through. Delete, delete, delete ...

No. Sod work. I need a plan B, I must rethink my whole life.

Hmmm. If that's how you've also felt this last week, hold fire. Mortgages need to be paid and meals bought. Here are my top tips for keeping your job despite the post-holiday blues:

1. Do not hand in your notice right away. In two days’ time you will feel as if you’ve never been away and you'll be at one with the awful drudgery that represents our lives.

2. Do not wear that shirt you bought overseas, it just looks garish in London. Give it to Oxfam, someone may need it for a fancy dress party.

3. Do not go shopping. You might need to cheer yourself up, but the holiday cost far more than it should have and you haven’t paid for it all yet. Remember to take a painkiller before opening the next Visa bill.

4. Don't go anywhere near HR. And for God’s sake cancel that one-to-one with the boss.

5. Do not try and do any work on the first day. Your brain needs to warm up. Anything you do today will need to be redone tomorrow.

6. Do not book next year’s holiday now. Tempting as it is, the economy isn’t looking too good and you might not have a job next year.

7. Most important of all, don’t show colleagues your holiday snaps. No one is interested. No one cares.

8. Book yourself on some sort of evening course. Photography perhaps or maybe Spanish? It may take the edge off your wanderlust. Until next year ...