Oh great! It's the time of year for some new graduates to start as interns. How young and hopeful they appear! Not to mention lazy, useless and hungover most of the time. And that's when they they actually bother to come into the office!

Poor things, it must be tough for them having to do stuff that they consider beneath them for the salary we're paying them, like answering the sodding phone sometimes. Not that I’m bitter, I have no desire to stay up all night drinking, taking drugs, going to wild pop-up events and then exclaiming how “sick” everything is. The only sick I feel is genuine, due to decades of too much smoking and too few vitamins consumed (have I mentioned lately that I may not have much longer to live according to the online research I’ve been doing?) 

But enough about ME. Let’s hear about the extraordinary lives of the new graduate trainees. After all they are so INTERESTING. I just can’t get enough of their stories. How they try and entertain us old farts (that they sooo hope they never turn into). They are absolutely right, I just can’t believe the things they get up to, who could have thought that there are such things as parties, celebrities, more parties and staying up late doing crazy things such as baking magic cupcakes at three in the morning? And, should I fail to catch the latest instalment of such a scintillating life, thank goodness it is pasted all over Facebook (though not sure they should have mentioned what a saddo their line manager is, after all, that happens to be me.)

Do you know which interns really wind me up the most though? The good ones. It is so depressing to see how switched-on, hard-working and enthusiastic some 21 year old can be. How can they know so much more about the business, and clients, than I do? And why can’t I be blessed with their nauseating good looks. Surely those gleaming teeth can’t be natural?

The good news of course is that at least they won’t be hanging around here for long. Onwards and upwards for them. And I will try not to cry as I wave them goodbye, and have to cough up another fiver for a leaving present.