I would be lost without the internet, my smartphone and my laptop. Quite frankly, when they go wrong I am screwed.

Here are my top eight PR technology balls ups, feel free to add:

1. The mobile battery packs up when pitching in a story to a national. Pissed-of journo, pissed-off client and it usually happens at the weekend when I’m nowhere near a charger.
2. The computer takes between 8 mins 24 seconds and 9 minutes 8 seconds to start up in the morning. Not ideal if you’re on deadline. I have suggested a new computer to the MD, but she won’t have it.
3. Last month I missed an average of 0.8 conference calls a week because I didn’t have the correct dial-in details. How do I know the average? Because my boss has started counting.
4. Siri. Does it work for anyone? Or is it crap just for me?
5. Last year my laptop died during a new business pitch. We didn’t win that one.
6. WiFi codes. At conferences they just bug the hell out of me – IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD PEOPLE!
7. Security codes. To be fair, it’s years since I’ve been last in the office at night but, back in day, it was always completely beyond me.
8. Dialling abroad. I appear to be incapable of working out the dialling code for a number of our clients.

Top tip – when shit happens, don’t run around screaming. Take a deep breath. Calm down. And THEN say the worst swear word you can think of – three times. And breathe.